You’ve probably heard the term micro-cheating floating around on social media or in relationship advice conversations.
It’s one of those buzzwords that gets people side-eyeing their partner’s phone or overthinking every “like” on Instagram.
But what does it actually mean, and how do you know if it’s happening in your relationship?
What is micro-cheating?
Micro-cheating is basically all the little, sneaky things someone might do that could be crossing the line in a relationship but aren’t quite full-blown cheating.
Think of it as the grey area between being totally loyal and being unfaithful.
It’s not always physical, but it can still feel like a betrayal.
It usually comes down to intention and secrecy.
If your partner is doing something they wouldn’t be cool with you doing or if they feel the need to hide it, there’s a good chance it falls into micro-cheating territory.
Common examples of micro-cheating
Here are a few behaviours that might fall into the micro-cheating category:
- Liking or commenting excessively on someone’s social media posts, especially if the interactions have a flirtatious tone.
- Deleting messages, calls, or DMs to hide communication with someone else.
- Keeping contact with an ex without your partner’s knowledge or under the guise of “just friends,” especially if there’s emotional secrecy involved.
- Flirting or suggestive joking with someone outside the relationship.
- Saving someone under a fake name or nickname in their phone.
- Constantly talking about a particular person at work or the gym, especially when paired with emotional comparisons.
- Sharing personal or intimate details with someone else that they don’t share with their partner.
Signs your partner might be micro-cheating
It can be tricky to spot micro-cheating because it often hides behind plausible deniability. However, here are some signs that might raise red flags:
They’re overly protective of their phone: Sudden changes in phone habits, like turning screens away, changing passwords, or hiding notifications, can be signs that something’s off.
They’re secretive about their social media: If they avoid tagging you, suddenly start following a lot of new people (especially of a certain type), or seem to have conversations that they don’t want you to see, it’s worth asking why.
They mention someone a lot but then stop: Maybe they used to talk about a coworker or friend frequently, but then suddenly stop bringing them up. That abrupt silence can signal that something has shifted.
They downplay or hide certain relationships: If they’re vague about who they hang out with, or you find out they’ve been spending time with someone and didn’t mention it, that could be a sign of micro-cheating.
They dismiss your concerns as jealousy or paranoia: Gaslighting or defensiveness when you bring up your feelings is a serious red flag, especially if you’re approaching the subject calmly and with genuine curiosity.
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