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Thursday, September 19, 2024

Open Letter- “My Affair With Malusi Gigaba” – Buhle Mkhize

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My Affair With Malusi Gigaba : I virtually met Malusi in early July 2014 via Instagram. We’d randomly started following each other on the network, discovered we shared the same sense of humour that led to exchange of banter ( in public / on posts). By the end of July he’d started sending me private messages that were very basic at first but quickly graduated to flirting ( Hello / Where are you from / I’d like to get to know you / You are so gorgeous / sexy ).

My Affair With Malusi Gigaba
My Affair With Malusi Gigaba

The messages were flattering but uncomfortable, I am married and had had a relationship with a public figure in the past and hated what comes with it so this wasn’t the route I wanted to take even if I was single.
The messages went unanswered until about the second week in August.  I can’t say for sure why I even responded, I blame the fact that the daily attention from someone can be intoxicating. I was going to sleep and waking up to his messages daily. He was clearly getting ready to get married, a fact he failed to mention to me not that I can claim any innocence. I revealed being in a relationship and living with someone but I said nothing when he assumed it was just a boyfriend. He did question a certain post at some point where I’d posted a Cartier yellow diamond ring anniversary gift that he thought was more like a wedding anniversary gift and he was right. I dismissed the issue and deleted the picture.

Back to the ‘ relations ‘,  the first time I ever heard of him getting married was on his very wedding day. I was on a girls’ getaway with my friends in Mexico so him and I couldn’t actually speak on the phone ( which had began just about two days or so before my trip).  I don’t have an international plan so one can only leave me a voicemail when I’m out of the country.  He left a voice mail that I didn’t receive until I reentered the U.S but I received his Instagram message which I shared with my friends or should I say was what revealed my communication with him to my crew leading to me discovering he was getting married that day. We then got into stalking mode that day and of course saw the wedding postings now that I was looking ( from other people, he didn’t post until Monday or Tuesday after the wedding).

Back to the story, I was so annoyed I didn’t respond to his Insta messages / calls or texts when I returned home. I actually took the whole thing as a sign that I should be focusing on my marriage but I should have known better. He’s a politician and they campaign for what they want. Before I knew it I was back on the phone with him again. He called a minimum of once a day every darn day as you can see on the log I sent you, it was multiple times a day when time allowed. Texts were in astonishing numbers on a daily bases.
Of course I questioned his not telling me he was getting married, he apologized and explained it as a fear I wouldn’t give him a chance if I knew. I then raised the WHY he’d so strongly pursue another woman in the middle of his vows. He explained that he’d been married in the past and had an ugly divorce that didn’t sit well with some of the public. He also said that he wanted to succeed politically and had kids with Noma and it wouldn’t be the right image for him to have the record of an ugly divorce and then a baby mama who in his own words basically cornered him into marrying her. He claimed she had lots on him that wouldn’t paint the right picture and more importantly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (we deleted this part as we felt it was too personal – JC) and she made him feel guilty so he felt obligated to marry her. She did confirm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Edited) to me during a June two hour phone call ( as you’ll see as I further detail ). She denied cornering him to marry her but said that ” Ungisabisa okokufa and he knows why, he’ll never leave me”.

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First Noma drama

The communication continued / grew all through September into October, again daily and multiple times a day. I perhaps called him once during all that time, he was the one calling.
At the end October he had to take a week off to go to Dubai for their honeymoon. Please note that I have both a telegraphic and photographic memory.  Point is that I’ll refer to exact pictures and give each quotes for some things. On the day they were leaving for the honeymoon Malusi posted a picture of Noma ( in black shorts and white tee shirt, I’ve looked all over the Internet for the exact picture but I can’t find it). He posted it along with a bunch of sweet nothings and excitement of the honeymoon.

Mind you, with the exception of gifts etc, I never posted about my man (The media claimed it was to protect Malusi’s feelings, BIG lie. I’ve been with this man since 2007 and we’ve NEVER posted a picture on any social media, we made a decision to not run our relationship on social networks even whiles we were just dating. He’s a very well known and highly respected entrepreneur who thinks social networks are a joke, well whatever).
What I did do is share less about gifts or mention of trips with the hubby so I went ballistic when I felt as though Malusi was throwing his marriage on my face. I cursed at him and told him to not post a thing about the honeymoon OR to never call me. The threats worked. She posted the honey moon lovey dovies daily (at this point she was following me, likely because she’s a naturally insecure person and wasn’t happy about the exchange Malusi and I had in public. Yes I followed her right back).

Anyway he posted a random picture or two of himself during this Dubai honey moon period. He called but I was giving him the silent treatment until a day or two before he got back, I started texting back even though I was still spitting fire. I don’t know how but madam discovered those texts and went insane on me. I still just don’t understand her level of English comprehension. Her argument was that I need to stop throwing myself at her man. Apparently Malusi had denied me, claimed I just started sending him flirtatious messages on Instagram that he never responded to. He claimed I got his number from my connections resulting in the texts. I was appalled, not only at his lies but her reasoning. Like, are you reading and understanding the text content ? How’s a woman that’s throwing herself at your man threatening to dump him if he shows off your honey moon ? Very upsetting for me. He was then forced to block me on Instagram. She blocked me too. I didn’t care but I cared and was hurt by what he’d said.

Within a 48 hour period he’d started calling and texting . ” Can’t sleep “.… ” Miss talking to you”…… ” It’s been too long “ ( 48 hours). Then the bomb via text……

” Please talk to me, will be on flight to Cape Town now and will call when I land. I can’t take this, the silence is too loud. In the case you are wondering, I have fallen in love with you”. ( photographic memory here).
After a few of these I was a bit sold. We’d never met in person so once I agreed to communicate again he felt that he wanted to resolve the matter in person. I have a feeling that you have a sense of what a bit of a crazy fireball I am, so I had been impossible with him, he had no choice but to pull all stops. Within two weeks he’d arranged my travel via someone. Before I knew it, I was in South Africa and a night in Cape Town turned into four days. Anyway I ended up staying there for two weeks . I’d be with my family in KZN on weekends and then in Cape Town Monday to Thursday, he went to Pretoria on weekends.

At the end of the ‘visit’ we  parted with an agreement that I’d come back two weeks later to celebrate my birthday ( this was towards end of November, my birthday is December 11). Unfortunately his father passed away on December 1 leading to not only the interruption of plans but Noma’s discovery that he’d not only unblocked me on Instagram but that the communication had never ended, worse we’d met in person. He said he was frazzled that morning when his father passed away so he’d left his iPad unattended to and she went through messages. She came for me with no fail. Same accusations of me throwing myself at Malusi. Insults started pouring at this point, everything from me being uneducated, (Hello !, I have two degrees on my back. She can’t write a complete sensible sentence ), having no man ( I’ve been married for years) to me being a prostitute (NEVER and will NEVER be).

Buhle Screenshot
My sisters intervened at this point and had words with her. Malusi denied we’d ever met, claimed she was reading too much into the messages. Said I’d seduced him and got him to a point of communicating about fantasies of actually meeting ( Huh ???).

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