Anita Nderu at one time contemplated blowing her brains out during her battle with depression last year.
The 29-year-old media girl, who is slowly becoming the face of mental health awareness among Kenyan youth, says she was in such a dark place that she considered killing herself.
“I cried myself to sleep and cried every morning, my eyes were always puffy.I would RSVP yes to events, hire gowns etc then not go cause I did not want to be around people plus my eyes were puffy,” said Anita.
She added; “The people who caused all this still sleep soundly at night, I don’t get how but they do. To each their demons right? Above all even the one night I cried so much I contemplated killing myself, guys I wanted to blow my brains out, I remember only @dunn_can thought I wasn’t okay that night when he saw me, I asked myself, are they worth it? No. God has a plan, he always does just hang in there boo.”
The Capital FM presenter made the revelation on Instagram. She was responding to the frequently asked question; how did you get over depression?
Anita Nderu wrote: “I am very misunderstood, I came to realise that, those who care to get to know me, know I am not what they perceived. I had to identify what was causing it first and as God would have it, it is off my hands,” adding; “My friends and family picked all those dramatic calls.”
The TV presenter said she still sees the people who caused her to fall into depression. She deals with it by allowing only positive vibes.
“However I had no choice but to get over it and move on. I still see all of them from time to time, I will never stop being a nice person, I will however only allow positive energy and nothing else,” reads Anita’s post.
She adds: “None of this or all of this might help you. Either way please note, assholes exist and they thrive off your misery. Find a way to be better, do better and live better. It hurts yes but you would rather sleep with a clean conscience than not sleep at all. God and Karma will deal with them boo.”
View this post on Instagram
Every time I share my story about going through depression all of last year I get DM’s asking how did you get over it? I am very misunderstood, I came to realise that, those who care to get to know me, know I am not what they perceived. I had to identify what was causing it first and as God would have it, it is off my hands. My friends and family picked all those dramatic calls. I cried myself to sleep and cried every morning, my eyes were always puffy.I would RSVP yes to events, hire gowns etc then not go cause I did not want to be around people plus my eyes were puffy. The people who caused all this still sleep soundly at night, I don’t get how but they do. To each their demons right? Above all even the one night I cried so much I contemplated killing myself, guys I wanted to blow my brains out, I remember only @dunn_can thought I wasn’t okay that night when he saw me, I asked myself, are they worth it? No. God has a plan, he always does just hang in there boo. I recently addressed this issue in a WhatsApp group, the person supposed to be impartial was so rude, I cried even more. However I had no choice but to get over it and move on. I still see all of them from time to time, I will never stop being a nice person, I will however only allow positive energy and nothing else. None of this or all of this might help you. Either way please note, assholes exist and they thrive off your misery. Find a way to be better, do better and live better. It hurts yes but you would rather sleep with a clean conscience than not sleep at all. God and Karma will deal with them boo. In other news ? @ogakemosomi ? @tintseh Edited by @kevinkemamaphotography Drinks @Tanqueraygin #TanqueraynTonic #Worldclasske
