There’s always two sides to a story – his side and her side. But when it comes to infidelity, the only side that matters is the truth.
Sonia and Matthew Booth topped the social media charts this week when she exposed his alleged affair on Instagram.
Posting receipts of Matthew’s ‘infidelity,’ Sonia didn’t hold back, resulting in a slurry of comments from online users.
With their marriage drama playing out in the public eye, the couple became the subject of countless memes and jokes, sometimes to their detriment.
But one topic that was continuously brought up was the distress caused by Matthew’s alleged cheating ways.
It begs the question: Could cheating be categorised as form of abuse?
“While I don’t believe cheating is abuse; it is both psychologically and emotionally destructive to the person being cheated on,” said professional matchmaker and relationship coach Kas Naidoo.
She adds that “cheating happens when a person is seeking a sense of adventure and aliveness that a new relationship brings”.
If a couple wants to protect their relationship, both partners need to be able to honestly communicate their needs.
Naidoo explained that couples need to commit to consciously creating a relationship that grows and evolves.
“Healthy, happy, deeply meaningful relationships where both partners remain honest and loyal, take continuous work. It doesn’t have to be difficult. It can actually be a lot of fun if both partners are equally committed.”
Huffington Post contributor Tracy Schorn tended to disagree. In her 2013 article “Rethinking Infidelity,” she writes that the assumption is that cheating is a minor offence.
She also believed that our minimizations of infidelity are “insulting and outdated”.
“People who cheat are making a unilateral decision about your health,” wrote Schorn.
“Cheaters risk your physical long-term well-being for a side dish f**k.”
When Quora users were posed with the question: Is cheating a form of emotional abuse?
Online user Pavel Ageev made a compelling argument on why it isn’t.
Agreev wrote: “Emotional abuse is being exerted over you to control you, to enslave you.
“Cheating is not done to enslave, behind it there’s a wish to flirt, love and have sex with someone else.
“In other words, in both cases you experience negative emotions, but an emotional abuser exactly wants it for you to obey them, while a cheater is after another goal and your negative emotions are the by-product.”
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