I am a teenager who grew up happily in Devon with my mother and two older brothers. School is going well and I am ambitious. My whole world is my family, friends and girlfriend. But one day, while playing football, I had such severe stomach cramps that I had to go to the doctor. There, in a dizzying moment, everything changed, I was pregnant. I’m 14 years old
The pregnancy was a complete shock; I still don’t know how my birth control failed. My periods didn’t stop, I was still as weak as usual and there were no other signs, so I never suspected I was pregnant. I know I’m young to have sex but I’m not alone, most of my friends are in a relationship
When they sent me for an ultrasound, it was like everything around me was in a nice rhythm. When I was told they found a pulse and showed me a clear image of the little baby inside me, I was stunned.
The doctor explained to me that the baby was on my back, so I had no swelling even though I was six months pregnant. Trying to figure all this out is impossible. The situation doesn’t seem to worry me, so I go home and sleep.
I didn’t lie there worrying about ruining my life – I was too busy thinking about ruining my baby’s life to think about what other people would think of me or where my future might lead. Instead, this endless question crossed my mind: Will I take care of my baby?
It boils down to the very simple belief that I am not good enough to be a mother and that the baby would be better off being adopted
I just want my mom to come home. Almost two hours before I heard her come in. She immediately saw that something was going on. “What is wrong?” She says.
I cried and said, “I’m really sorry.” This scared her and she rushed over and sat on the bed and had to ask again, “What’s wrong?” I finally made it out and expecting a baby. She just hugged me.
My father was long gone and my mother brought up me and my brother alone, so we were very close. That helps. None of them criticized me or made me feel worse than I already was. They only watched me as I tried to decide what to do next.
I shouldn’t have thought about abortion because my pregnancy was so far away that it was too late. I have three months to imagine myself having a baby – and I haven’t told my boyfriend yet. Not only that, but I was so worried, it ended up taking a week. His response wasn’t very positive – as you can imagine, he and her parents were stunned.
I’m back in school, life is around me, I keep seeing my boyfriend but I still can’t decide whether to keep my baby or give him up for adoption.
I spoke to my mother and brother about this, and they continued to listen to me as I went through my worries. They were all very empathetic and reassured me of my abilities but didn’t try to make decisions for me.
When my baby was finally born
going back to school was hard. I wanted to be a dancer, but I soon realized how the teacher’s view of me had changed. Half were supportive and , and the other half simply believed my life was going to be a disaster — that I had a bright future and threw it away.
It was then that I realized how bad the perception of teenage mothers and unplanned pregnancies was. I don’t think much has changed in ten years. Most of the criticism is still directed at girls, boys are almost expected to have sex – and certainly don’t look crushed when they’ve fathered a child. As a girl, you are perceived as frivolous and out of control.
I was 15 when my child was born but at that age you have low self-esteem and you don’t know yourself. Being thrown into an adult situation like this is difficult, and having a supportive family makes it very important to my confidence.
At the same time, it can be pretty tough, and when my relationship with child’s dad ended (we broke up as many teenagers do), I decided it was time for a new start.
When I look at pictures of me when my daughter was a baby, I am amazed at how young I was but at that time I was not very young due to the fact that it happened at all which surprised me. I’m always amazed that I didn’t expect to get pregnant but I’m lucky to be a new mom – and I’m proud of the life I gave my daughter and I’m proud of my family
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