The first step in moving on is admitting how you feel.
Sincerely apologize if you’re the one who let them down, and they’ll hopefully start to trust you again. If you’re on the receiving end of an apology, ask yourself if you’re at a place where you can forgive the offender. Forgiving someone is not easy, but it is necessary before you can trust them again.
You don’t have to forget what they did for you to forgive them. In contrast, you’re deciding that the connection is valuable enough to be rebuilt, and you want to do it together.
Since you probably don’t know how to start off your apology, it’s fine if it’s somewhat brief. A possible response could be: “I know we haven’t been in contact for a while, and for that I apologize. I apologize for the pain I caused by texting that person.”
2. Do not try to convince yourself that you should not be experiencing a certain emotion.
Feelings of remorse, neglect, anger, or resentment are common indicators of a troubled relationship. Do not give in to the temptation of holding yourself responsible for what occurred. Instead, figure out what’s causing your current state of mind and behavior.
For instance, you can tell yourself things like, “I have been lying to my partner because I am afraid they no longer love me,” or “I am fatigued because I do not believe that I can trust my partner not to cheat.”
3. You should take some time apart to figure out how you feel and what you want. Consider how much you value the connection, and you may find that you are more committed to working things out. If you give each other some space, you can calm down and avoid saying anything hasty that you’ll later regret.
Someone who is hurting himself could say, “I need to take some time away from the situation to gather my thoughts. When I’m ready to have a conversation, I’ll contact you.” If you were the one who betrayed their confidence, you may try stating, “Please give me some time to heal,” “I realize that you are now dealing with a lot of thoughts and concerns. Have you considered taking some time alone to figure things out?”
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