After giving birth, you might feel like you’ll never have sex again. But you will heal and your interest in sex will return. For many women, this happens within 1-3 months of your baby’s birth, but it’s normal for it to take longer. In this particular write-up, we shall look at expert approaches you can use to have great post baby sex or awesome sex after having a baby.
Talk to your doctor. It is important to abstain from intercourse until after your doctor clears you for sex. Your healthcare provider might require you to come in for a check-up before giving you the all clear. Remember, this is to help your body recover. Your follow-up appointment is a great time to ask your doctor questions. You can ask about your recovery in general, but you can also have an honest conversation about post-baby sex. Prepare a list of questions in advance. That way, you will be more likely to remember to ask about everything that has been on your mind. You can ask questions such as, “Are there any precautions that I need to take when having sex for the first time?” and “If there is discomfort, how can I ease that?”
Follow instructions. Maybe you’ve been looking forward to receiving the all-clear from your doctor to resume having sex. If he advises you to wait a while longer after your 6 week checkup, that can be disappointing. However, it is important that you follow any medical instructions that you receive after having a baby. If you had a c-section or perineal tearing, you may need additional time to heal. You can risk a setback and further wounding your body if you don’t wait.
If your doctor says your body is ready for sex, that’s great news. But listen to any other advice offered. For example, if you are told to take it slow and easy, do so. If lubricant is recommended, make sure to get some.
Rest up. When you have a new baby, your life revolves around feeding, changing, and caring for that infant. Both parents are likely suffering from a severe lack of sleep. It is no secret that your sex drive is negatively impacted by not getting enough rest. Before you will feel like having great sex again, you’ll need to start getting more sleep. This might seem impossible, but it is important for your sex life. However, the correlation between sex and sleep goes both ways. Having sex can actually help you sleep more restfully. Even if you are exhausted, try having sex if you feel physically capable. The few hours of sleep you grab will feel more restful. Once you start getting more sleep, you’ll feel more motivated to have more sex. It is a cycle. Try going to bed a half hour earlier. Make this a time specifically for sex.
Acknowledge your hormones. Pregnancy and giving birth greatly affect your hormones. Your hormones likely will not return to normal until you start menstruating again. For many women, this doesn’t happen until for anywhere from 4-12 weeks after giving birth. When your hormones are out of balance, your sex drive can vary. Many women will feel ready to have sex, but just as many won’t feel ready for several months. Remember that feeling either way is fine. And it’s normal for your feelings to shift from day to day, and even hour to hour. You will also be spending most hours of the day holding and caring for your newborn. When it’s finally time to take a break, you may feel the need for some personal space. It’s ok if you don’t feel like being touched.
Practice self-care. It’s hard to feel sexy when you are exhausted and stressed. Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically can do wonders for your sex life. Pamper yourself a little. You will feel relaxed and ready for amazing sex with your partner. Allow family and friends to help. When you’re a new parent, you might feel the need to be with your baby 24/7, which is normal. If a trusted family member or friend offers to give you a break, take them up on their offer. You and your partner deserve a little time for yourself. Consider treating yourself and your partner to a relaxing activity. It might feel good to get a couples massage or go out for dinner. Spending some time together as a couple can help you reconnect. This can inspire both of you to put more focus on recharging your sex life.
Regain your confidence. It can be difficult to feel sexy after giving birth. Maybe you are stressed about losing the baby weight. Or perhaps you’re uncomfortable looking at your stretch marks. If you don’t feel confident in your body, it can be difficult to feel interested in sex. In order to start having great sex again, it’s important to try to regain your confidence in your body. Remind yourself that your body is amazing–giving birth is no small accomplishment! If you feel up to it, start getting some exercise. You can take a long walk or attend a post-natal yoga class. Physical exercise can increase your confidence levels. Just make sure to clear it with your doctor before you resume your workouts. Try cleaning yourself up. It can be easy to forget to shower or put on actual clothes when you’re a new parent. When you feel ready, dry your hair and put on an outfit that makes you feel good. This can make you feel more like yourself again, and ready for sex.
Rekindle the romance. Life after having a baby can be very hectic. You are likely both sleeping much less and a bit stressed from additional responsibility. Try to make time for your relationship, despite the challenges. Go on a date night. Ask a family member to come over. Take some time for an adult dinner and movie out of the house. If a sitter isn’t feasible, have a date night at home. When the baby is sleeping, take some time to cuddle on the couch and catch up on your Netflix shows. Take time to focus on your relationship outside of parenthood. On your dates, make sure to talk about something other than the baby. Talk to each other about outside interests. When you’re a new parent, it’s natural to focus on sleep schedules and breastfeeding, but don’t forget that you and your partner are attracted to each other for other reasons.
Spending time together can be more of a challenge when you’re new parents, but it’s still important. You might be able to go for a walk or have dinner together. If you can’t find someone to look after your baby, take him for a walk in the pram while you talk, or have a meal together once he’s asleep.
There are many ways of giving and receiving sexual pleasure. Think about sex as the end point, rather than the beginning. Start with simple things like holding hands and cuddling. Physical affection can build and lead to sex when you’re both ready.
Be supportive. The most important thing you can do to encourage great sex is to be emotionally supportive of one another. Being a new parent is an amazing experience, but it definitely comes with challenges. Make sure that you and your partner help each other out.
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