Being in a relationship isn’t easy, but healthy couples know how to take the ups and downs; how to weather the storm. Learn from the experts, with these six ways to keep your relationship happy.
1. Focus on the Good in Your Partner
This does not mean that you should turn a blind eye, and ignore everything your partner does that bothers you. On the contrary, you should always be taking stock of your feelings towards them and the relationship to make sure it is healthy and you are happy. When you are confident in your desire to be in a happier relationship with this person, can help smooth over petty conflicts if you focus on the good rather than the bad.
2. Communicate Openly
Research shows that communication style is more important than commitment levels, personality traits or stress in predicting which couples will stay happy. Healthy couples don’t avoid conflict, but they do know how to keep the lines of communication open. Happy couples know that the best conversations happen without the distraction of phones, tablets and laptops .
3. Stop Trying To Be Right
Would you rather be right or be happy? Hint: Happiness is way more fun. “Give up the need to be right,” Rob Alex, who created Sexy Challenges and Mission Date Night with his wife, tells Bustle. Alex, aka the Guru of Getting It On, says there is often no such thing as right and wrong. “We get so caught up in the idea that everything has to have a wrong and right answer,” he says. “Understanding that sometimes your partner just sees things differently than you do is a key to having a great relationship.” This doesn’t mean that you swallow your needs or never argue — it just means putting a different priority on rightness. “When you can disagree with your partner and simply say that you honor their position and accept it to be their truth, you have just crossed one of the major bridges to not only having an amazing relationship, but to having a better life too,” he says.
4. See your partner for what they are, not their potential.
One of the biggest relationship pitfalls is assuming that your partner knows or should know how you feel. You may become frustrated if your partner forgets special occasions or does not react how you would expect him/her to during certain situations. Instead of placing high expectations on the other person for your happiness, appreciate who they are and be surprised when they are on the same page as you instead of expecting it.
According to blogger Melissa Dawn Lieberman: “You really can’t assume that your spouse knows how you feel or what you want. You don’t share the same feelings, worldview or thoughts. You might notice the dishes in the sink or remember that the kids haven’t done their homework yet, but he might not. When in doubt, say it out loud.”
5. Be a Good Listener.
Communication is a two-way street. If you want your partner/friend to listen to you, you must be prepared to listen to them as well. Listening effectively will actually help boost your partner’s self-esteem; they feel confident that someone loves and supports them. And listening doesn’t mean staring blankly as they talk. It means making an effort to understand what the other person says, having a genuine interaction with them, and following the instructions they give if any. By being genuine and understanding, you can build a respectable and strong relationship
6. Be Committed to the Relationship.
You have to be committed to sharing yourself and your life with your partner. There are no two ways about that. Commit your time, resources, and energy to make things work between you two. Be willing to be loyal and to stand with the other person; choosing them over and over even when it is not fashionable to do so. It is only after doing that that you can expect them to reciproc ate.
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