My mum wanted me to marry a specific man due to “ his wealth from the start. “I can’t marry this man,” I respectfully informed her. I don’t care for him, and I have no intention of marrying him. He’s also a lot older than I am. I’m afraid I won’t be able to marry him.” She was adamant. She tried all she could to get me to marry that man, but I refused to budge. When the moment was perfect, I introduced her to the man I wanted to marry, and that’s when the problem began.
She declined our request. She stated that she would not consent to our marriage. My father was sympathetic to the idea. He expressed his happiness for me and pushed me to proceed with the marriage. My mother and father are no longer together. They split a long time ago and have been living apart ever since.
We decided to go forward with the marriage with the help of my father, other siblings, and our priest. She eventually warmed up and even agreed to help sew my wedding gown and all the other clothes. We established a date for the wedding, but we had to postpone it owing to delays on her end.
They set a new date, but once that date approached, she informed us that she was sick and would be unable to complete making our wedding gowns. “So, which day do you think would be most convenient for you?” we inquired. She arranged for us to meet on a new date. Because God is so kind, we were able to have a lovely wedding on the day she requested.
She began to caution me against becoming pregnant soon after we married. “How could that be?” I wondered. Why shouldn’t I now since I’m married and the next step is to bear children for my husband?” “Keep in mind the structure you’re creating for me,” she said. When the kids come in and distract you, get that one done first.” Before I married, I began work on that structure. When my husband joined the picture, I told him about it and he promised to help us finish it as quickly as possible.
It never occurred to me that having a child would take my attention away from that structure. We are, in fact, dedicated to completing it as soon as possible so she may move in. “You have nothing to worry about,” I assured her on the day she expressed that opinion. We’ll take care of everything.”
I became pregnant shortly after our vacation. When she found out about the pregnancy, she was furious. Her dissatisfaction was never hidden. She talked about how upset she was with my pregnancy every day when she got up. I miscarried the pregnancy right in front of her one day. She witnessed it with her own eyes and realized how much anguish I was in. I was heartbroken, but I couldn’t do anything. She began telling me not to attempt to become pregnant again soon after the miscarriage. Her warnings had little effect on me.
I went to my husband’s base of operations one day. But, before driving there, I stopped by my mother’s house and slept there for the night before heading to my husband’s house.
“Be cautious you don’t go and get pregnant again,” she advised when I informed her where I was going. You’re working on a project. Before you start thinking about pregnancy, finish this one for me.” I returned home after going to my husband’s house. My spouse also came to see me at another point. My mother phoned me on the phone when I was in his room with him. “I can hear voices,” she said after hearing the voice of my spouse. “Who are you talking about?” “My spouse has arrived,” I announced. Her demeanour quickly altered. “I’ve told you over and again, and I’ll tell you again today,” she started shouting. It’s best if you don’t conceive. “First and foremost, you must complete the construction.”
I probably wouldn’t mind her since she sounded like a broken record. I became pregnant again five months after the miscarriage. And then I had another miscarriage. I sobbed. I was completely broken. “How long is this going to go on?” I wondered. I contacted my mother and informed her that I had miscarried once more. “Did you go through something similar when you were younger?” I inquired. Is there anything I could do—any meds I might take—to avoid these miscarriages?” She became enraged.
She made a case out of it because it was her first time hearing about the pregnancy: “Why do you have to get pregnant when I warned you in no uncertain terms that you shouldn’t get pregnant until the project is finished?” You don’t want me to move into my new home, do you? Why don’t you pay attention to what I’m saying?” It was all about her and her desire to move into a new home. I could understand her anxieties in some ways.
She is not at all comfortable where she is now residing. I understand her need to relocate, but it’s the same house she’s lived in and raised us in for the past ten years, so staying in it for a few years wouldn’t alter anything or harm anyone. This woman, on the other hand, is using it as an excuse to prevent me from being pregnant. My hubby has shown an interest in having children. Right now, the only thing that makes him happy is having children. I can’t take away my husband’s joy because we have to construct a new structure.
I ignored her whining and fussing and proceeded to become pregnant once more. I’m three months along with my pregnancy at the moment. I’ve kept the pregnancy a secret from her. It’s something I’ve told my father about, and it’s also something I’ve told my older brother about. My friends and I had decided not to inform my mother. “Never tell your mother about this one until you birth,” my father said.
The issue is “unless you deliver.” My mother is her name. Whatever the case may be, she is still my mother, and I can’t keep her in the dark until the kid arrives.
It will cause havoc, which might extend across my marriage. In my marriage, I don’t want it to happen. “If you get pregnant and subsequently birth, don’t bring that kid to where I live now,” she said the last time we spoke. Also, please be aware that I will not be coming to your home to assist with the baby’s care. “Let’s get started.” I wasn’t very concerned about the threat. My mother-in-law is a kind and caring individual. This pregnancy has made her extremely happy. When we asked her to come over when I gave birth, she enthusiastically agreed and expressed her eagerness to live with us.
Now the question is whether or not to inform my mother of my pregnancy. I’m currently caught in the middle of a rock and a hard place. Trouble if I tell her. She’ll make a big deal out of it and make my life a living hell if I don’t tell her until after the baby is born.
I don’t know what to think. I’m not sure what to do, and neither is my spouse. We know what that woman is capable of when she hears about a baby but not about the pregnancy that resulted in the birth of the child. I adore her because she is my mum. However, I’m stumped on this one. Please suggest what I should do next.
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