The 35-year-old model and television personality discussed her mental health in an Instagram post Wednesday after facing criticism for her past tweets about television personality Courtney Stodden.
Teigen was accused of cyberbullying after her remarks about Stodden resurfaced in May. Teigen publicly apologized at the time, saying, “I’m mortified and sad at who I used to be. I was an insecure, attention seeking troll.”
In her post Wednesday, Teigen said she is struggling as she takes time away from public life and communication with fans.
“Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer,” the star said. “I feel lost and need to find my place again, I need to snap out of this.”
“I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay,” she added. “I’m not used to any other way!!”
“Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong,” the model said. “It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow.”
“All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just…tired of being sick with myself all day,” she added. “I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno.”
John Legend (L) and then girlfriend Chrissy Teigen watch the New York Knicks play the Sacramento Kings in New York City on January 2, 2008. The couple had gotten together in 2007 and married in 2013. Photo by John Angelillo/UPI | License Photo
Teigen and Legend arrive for the Declare Yourself “Rebirth of Citizenship” Inauguration Kick-off Event in Washington, D.C., on January 18, 2009. Photo by Arianne Teeple/UPI | License Photo
Teigen attends the EA Sports Madden NFL 12 Pigskin Pro-AM in New York City on July 27, 2011. Teigen and Legend got engaged
later that year after dating for four years. Photo by Laura Cavanaugh | License Photo
Teigen arrives at the Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas on May 20, 2012. Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo
Teigen arrives at the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles on February 10, 2013. Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo
Teigen poses on the red carpet at the White House Correspondents Dinner in Washington, D.C., on April 27, 2013. A couple months later, Teigen shared a photo gushing about her wedding with John Legend. Photo by Molly Riley/UPI | License Photo
“Sports Illustrated” cover models, left to right, Teigen, Lily Aldridge and Nina Agdal arrive on the red carpet at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 50 Years of Swim in NYC Celebration at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Beach House in New York City on February 18, 2014. Photo by John Angelillo/UPI | License Photo
Teigen arrives on the red carpet at the Academy Awards in Los Angeles on March 2, 2014. The next month, Teigen shut down fat-shaming bullies on Twitter. Photo by Kevin Dietsch/UPI | License Photo
Teigen waves to fans when DKNY celebrates the launch of the new DKNY MYNY fragrance in New York City on August 19, 2014. Later that month, Teigen threw the first pitch at a Los Angeles Dodgers game. Photo by John Angelillo/UPI | License Photo
Teigen attends the Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills, Calif., on January 11, 2015. Later that year, “Lip Sync Battle” premiered with Teigen as host. Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo
Teigen arrives for the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles on February 8, 2015. Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo
Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Teigen arrives on the red carpet at the 2015 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Celebration at Marquee in New York City on February 10, 2015. Photo by John Angelillo/UPI | License Photo
Teigen arrives on the red carpet at the Academy Awards in Los Angeles on February 22, 2015. Photo by Kevin Dietsch/UPI | License Photo
Teigen (L) and Legend arrive on the red carpet for the MTV Video Music Awards in Los Angeles on August 30, 2015. Later that year, the couple donated to Planned Parenthood in the wake of a shooting in Colorado that took place in the vicinity of the organization. Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo
Legend (R) adjusts Teigen’s dress on the red carpet at the Academy Awards in Los Angeles on February 28, 2016. Photo by Kevin Dietsch/UPI | License Photo
Teigen (L) and Legend attend the Vanity Fair Oscar Party in Beverly Hills, Calif., on February 28, 2016. Her cookbook, “Cravings: Recipes for All the Food You Want to Eat,” hit shelves a few days before. Their first child, a daughter, Luna, arrived in April of that year. Photo by David Silpa/UPI | License Photo
Teigen attends the Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills, Calif., on January 8, 2017. A few months later, Teigen shared photos from her family’s vacation to Bali. Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo
Teigen arrives for the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles on February 12, 2017. Afterwards, she and Legend attempted to play the game “Toilet Trouble.” Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo
Teigen (L) and Legend arrive on the red carpet for the Academy Awards in Los Angeles on February 26, 2017. A few days earlier, Teigen said that Asian models are underrepresented in fashion. Photo by Kevin Dietsch/UPI | License Photo
Teigen attends the premiere of “Beauty and the Beast” in Los Angeles on March 2, 2017. A few days later, Teigen spoke out about her struggle with postpartum depression in an effort to normalize the condition. Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo
Teigen (L) and Legend arrive on the red carpet at the Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of “Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between” at The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City on May 1, 2017. Photo by John Angelillo/UPI | License Photo
Legend (R) watches Teigen arrive on the red carpet at the Clive Davis and Recording Academy Pre-Grammy Gala and Grammy Salute to Industry Icons Honoring Jay-Z in New York City on January 27, 2018. In May, the couple welcomed their second child, a son named Miles. Photo by John Angelillo/UPI | License Photo
Teigen (L) and Legend speak onstage during the Primetime Emmy Awards in Los Angeles on September 17, 2018. The week prior, Teigen celebrated her husband’s EGOT status with his Creative Arts Emmy win. Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo
Legend kisses Teigen as they arrive for the Glamour Women of the Year Awards in New York City on November 12, 2018. Legend honored his wife with an emotional speech about her at the awards. Photo by Jason Szenes/UPI | License Photo
Left to right, Zach Galifianakis, Teigen and Legend attend the premiere of “Between Two Ferns: The Movie” in Los Angeles on September 16, 2019. The month before, Legend and Teigen were confirmed to guest star as themselves on “The Simpsons.” Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo
Teigen arrives for the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles on January 26, 2020. Teigen mourned the loss of Kobe Bryant on Twitter that night. Photo by Jim Ruymen/UPI | License Photo
Teigen (L) and Legend arrive for the Vanity Fair Oscar Party in Beverly Hills, Calif., on February 9, 2020. Later that year, Teigen donated to the Minnesota Freedom Fund in the wake of the death of George Floyd. Photo by Chris Chew/UPI | License Photo
