Sometimes it’s not that easy to tell if your man is after you ‘cause his heart is gushing with love for you or he just wants to get into your pants.
It has become increasingly difficult to understand a person’s intentions, especially when it comes to a prospective long-lasting relationship.
Movies, music and literature, all have educated men enough on how to woo a woman. But the question remains: does he make her fall in love with him just to get inside her pants?
These signs might be a way out of your dilemma and will educate you on whether he loves you or just lusts for you.
- His availability on your bad days
You might have had a bad day at work and prefer to stay indoors in pyjamas and no makeup on and he brings you your favourite cold coffee with a shot of espresso and caramel? Then he doesn’t just lust after you.
He is there even when there is no guarantee of sex. He doesn’t say, “I’ll leave you alone till you are in a better mood”. Instead, he puts in an effort to cheer you up. Or he just listens to your rant.
You might say you’ve had men put on a pretence so that they have a shot at getting laid later but most men who are lusting after you won’t even have the patience to do that.
- Does he talk to you about his family?
If the man loves you and wants you in his life, he will tend to be more open than “I once had sex in a moving car”.
Including family in conversations and you in his discussions with his family, means he loves you. He goes with you to family weddings amongst others. And for the best cases, you might also have his sibling’s number saved in your phone as the emergency contact for him.
However, if a man simply lusts for you, he will steer clear of the family topic altogether. So if you find yourself wondering “does he love me or does he just lust for me?”- this should give you your answer.
Does he do his deed and turn over to sleep? Does he not seem too keen to spend the night or stay for breakfast? This is one of the signs he is lusting after you. The ‘get in-get out’ is definitely not an indication of love.
When your man loves you there will be cuddling or at least a forehead kiss. He will know your turn-on spots as well as your tickle spots. There will be pillow talk after sex and you don’t have to lie beside him wondering if it’s only sex he is after.
Does he listen to you when you are having an argument or just yell his lungs out at you? Does he make an effort to resolve a fight or just walks away and tells you to let him know when you are done being pissed? If you want to know his intentions read the difference between “I am sorry you feel this way but hear me out please” or “let’s not do this please”?
The man who loves you will resolve a fight as he doesn’t want you to be vexed or worried, not because he wants sex at the end of the argument.
- How much time is he willing to devote to you?
You’ll know whether he loves you or lusts you based on how much time he’s willing to give you. Is he always in a hurry, just looking to make excuses to leave? Or does he genuinely like spending time with you?
A man who loves you won’t mind taking out time for you and spending the day with you. In fact, he might make more and more plans that involve spending maximum time with you. Whereas, a man who only wants to get into your pants will either look for excuses to leave immediately after. Or before if he sees no signs of getting intimate with you.
- Look for signs of jealousy
If you’re thinking “does he have feelings for me or just lusts for me?” try this simple trick. Tell your man about a fictional man you’ve been spending a lot of time with and getting close to. Try to analyse his reaction. If he seems a little uncomfortable discussing this topic and you can sense hints of jealousy in his voice, then he might be in love with you. On the other hand, a man who just lusts after you will not show these signs of jealousy.